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The Generational Impact of Divorce

Writer's picture: Krista BontragerKrista Bontrager
Our friend, Katy Faust, came on the show to discuss yet another controversial topic: divorce. We looked at what the research is saying about its long-term impact on children––even adult children. It's a challenging and emotional topic, but we want to talk about it in light of biblical instruction.



 

Katy Faust is a friend of the ministry and is a favorite regular guest. Katy brings passion and truth to the conversation in her work at Them Before Us. 


Tonight, Katy came on to talk about the impact of divorce; we’ve had other important conversations with her on surrogacy, in vitro fertilization (IVF), and other issues that impact children and families. Be sure to check out our previous episodes with Katy!



Introduction & Biblical Foundation:


  • Divorce has touched many people and it is often a painful and difficult topic

  • In the beginning, God instituted marriage in the joining of one man and one woman into one union; it was complementary, permanent, and exclusive; divorce is a result of the fall

  • Patriarchs & polygamy in the OT: not acceptable to God & consequences of family breakdown & strife indicate this

  • NT: Jesus addresses this and reinforces what God had established (Matthew 19)



As a Christian, are there grounds for divorce?


  • Abandonment

  • Addiction

  • Adultery

  • Abuse (ie cruelty)



How does divorce impact children?


  • There is no such thing as a “good divorce”

  • Most divorce today is not due to the 4 A’s listed above; it is because adults have fallen out of love and don’t want to do the hard thing

  • Implications for children of divorce: declining rates of physical health, increased risk of behavioral and mental health challenges, plummeting rates of high school graduation, struggles with establishing and maintaining their own relationships and marriages in the future, 50% (or more) loss of one parent

  • Children are starved of the macro nutrients they need: mother’s love, father’s love, and stability

  • When a married couple divorces, it increases the child’s likelihood of divorce by 45% and if a parent remarries, it doubles the child’s likelihood of their own divorce at 91%

  • Children from a low conflict, no-fault divorce situation often blame themselves and suffer from guilt and shame; many are choosing to “opt out” of marriage altogether or co-habitating without marriage

  • “Gray divorce” (divorce after age 65): not a lot of statistics at this point, but based on anecdotal data/personal stories, it is extremely detrimental and destabilizing



What can couples do if they are currently struggling?


  • Difficult seasons are hard, but they are often TEMPORARY!

  • Get to church! Community is SO important!

  • Find people who love you, who can minister to you, and give you breaks

  • Get wise counsel

  • Husbands need good men who are speaking into their lives



How do you distinguish between a hard season and genuine abuse/safety issues?


  • Get wise counsel!

  • If it’s clearly not an issue of one of the A’s mentioned above, you need to grow!

  • Do not tell everything to everybody, but find one person who you can tell everything to

  • Get serious about obedience and community


 

Resources:


Katy's important books:



Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement:


Book clubs are starting soon! Click the link below to find out which book selections we are reading and join us!



 

Connect with the Guest:


Stay in touch with the important work Katy is doing for children at Them Before Us: https://thembeforeus.com/



Social media:


IG: @katyfaustofficial


X: @Advo_Katy



 

Sponsor:


Tonight's show is brought to you by the Center for Biblical Unity and Theology Mom podcast.


Be sure to like, subscribe, buy some merch, and support the family!


We have some great merch that helps support the ministries of CFBU and Theology Mom. For every shirt purchased, approximately $10 goes to support the ministry of CFBU or the family business.







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